You’ve met a cool new guy and have managed to get through three great dates. But now you’re glancing at your phone every hour or so wondering why his phone calls have suddenly lapsed. You check your cell phone: no text messages. Your Yahoo! account is also absent of emails from your new suitor. You thought you were hitting it off. But now you’re beginning to second-guess yourself. A few more weeks pass and—-nothing. It’s almost as if he’s dropped off the face of the earth. Your trio of dates have led you to believe that perhaps you two were onto something So what happened? There may be some surprising answers…
Your Sex Symbol “Kit” Was a Bit Too Extensive
For your first two dates, you piled it on thick: fake eyelashes, colored contact lenses, hair extensions, an impeccably placed mask of cosmetics—all wrapped up in two pairs of padded Spanx. When you first met your new suitor, you looked like Halle Berry. Two dates later, you’ve shed some of your inhibitions—along with some of those physical trappings; but now you’re looking more like Halle Berry’s “older brother.” While cosmetics and creative hairdos are completely acceptable, it is possible that the object of your affections feels a bit duped by the woman that he met on Date Number One. There is nothing wrong with using the world’s technological advances to help you feel a little better about yourself. But remember that most men like a real woman who doesn’t feel encumbered by her own natural physical features. If you don’t like the Real You, why should he?
Looks are the last thing that matter in a relationship but sadly most people, be it male or female, are more comfortable with physical intimacy these days as they want to satisfy their sexual urges than enter an unbreakable bond that connects not body but two souls together so therefore, if you want to better utilize the okcupid app lying dormant in your mobile phone, use it for finding the right person who may look ok but has more homely qualities so that it can be taken to the next level.
You Went “There” Too Soon
You know where “there” is. It’s the unmistakable result of good old-fashioned lust. There may be nothing wrong with consenting adults deciding to “bedroom tango” in the early stages of dating. But if you don’t have solid footing in your friendship, it might be hard to gauge whether you’ll get another request for a date. Sure, he may have seemed interested afterwards. But there is a strong possibility that he’s feeling uncomfortable by the sudden intimacy. He may also wonder whether you have expectations that he’s not prepared to fulfill. Or perhaps he’s simply lost his respect for you. All double standards aside, there are sometimes serious repercussions associated with sharing your body too soon.
Your Lifestyle (Home) Is Unappealing
Let’s say that on Date Number Three, you’ve decided to invite your new beau to your humble abode. If your phone has remained silent after this date, there is the possibility that your home life has wilted his interest. During a recent morning show on metro Atlanta radio station Q100, a female caller was vexed concerning the absence of communication following their [seemingly] good date. Her date called into the radio station and revealed that upon glancing at her bedroom, he’d been completely turned off. As it turns out, the young lady’s bedroom was besieged by posters of a shirtless David Beckham, a huge collection of stuffed animals and several other childlike items. The female caller considered her choice of decoration innocent. But the sentiment was obviously not shared; instead he found it “creepy.” You may not be able to sell stuffed animals wholesale; but things like a dirty bathroom or kitchen, or even “embarrassing” items lying around may be enough to thwart any budding romance.
You Were Just “Ms. Right Now”…
Believe it or not, men hate being lonely just as much as women do. When men break up with their girlfriends, they often want to jump right back into the dating pool as soon as possible. This is to ensure that he has a never-ending pool of options. Granted, your new friend may have completely eluded details of his previous relationship on Dates Number One, Two and Three. But your newest love interest may simply be on the rebound, killing time until he sorts out the pieces of his previous relationship. Or you may simply be a welcome distraction. Unfortunately, it may take three dates or so before both you and he realize this.
He’s Just Not Into You…
Authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo wrote a book called He’s Just Not That Into You. This book takes a hard look at the way men think and act in their relationships. Certainly, it cannot be considered a comprehensive study of all men. But the truth remains that men who are not interested in the women they’ve recently met, will not pursue anything serious with them. As beautiful, intelligent, and funny as you may be—you simply may not be a good fit for him. There might be all sorts of reasons. Frankly, you may never discover any of them unless you confront him—and maybe not even then.